The Brand Bible

Slothrop decided we need to put together a “Brand Bible” to articulate The Inscrutables’ “brand traits & sensibility.” Artie took a first pass, but I don’t think this is really what Slothrop was looking for: # “The Inscrutables brand is not always inscrutable, but not always scrutable either. Which is just to say scrutability isn’t the goal, necessarily. Going for a sense of distant familiarity. Properly-executed, the long-term ratio of “Ha ha” to “I don’t get it” should be about 60:40. “The Inscrutables” is generally amiable, and seemingly-approachable, but can be a little moody when tired or hungry. Pretty chatty for an introvert, or at least fakes it well enough. But unlikely to engage you in small talk first. Possesses a sense of idle curiosity, comfortable as an arms-length confidant, not much of a hugger. Has always felt like more of an observer than a participant, to be honest. Doesn’t respond well to authority, unless the authority is really good at it. Which isn’t usually the case, in its experience. Distrustful of orthodoxy, but acknowledges it does have its moments. Not consciously hypocritical, but it’s known to happen from time to time. Searching for an uncommon common ground - a sort of real estate broker in the Reuleaux Triangle, if you will. Almost got a tattoo once, but didn’t go through with it due to an unexplored fear of permanence. Art is math and math is art, in its humble opinion. Naturally a little off-center, unconcerned with appearances (within reason). Highly-efficient, despite a natural tendency to procrastinate, which is controlled with active management. Mostly reliable. Unapologetic for things outside it’s control, even if it feels bad about them and apologizing might help. A history of cardiac issues in the family, so keeping it to 1-2 drinks a night. Aspiring, but realistic about prospects. Occasionally seems vaguely disappointed with you but not in a tut-tutting way. Self-aware enough to write up some brand traits, but not going to dwell on it.” # Here’s a tbt to #73’s highly-debated alternative caption, where the Brand Bible may or may not have helped. -Ed.