#155: "When I Was Your Age, We Didn't Have Wheels"

Arthur Trope Presents:

The Inscrutables No. 155

“When I Was Your Age, We Didn’t Have Wheels” 

Hi. I’m still here. I just got out of my meeting with HR. Not only did I not get fired, I got promoted. If you’re saying, wait, didn’t you just get promoted, like, 2 weeks ago? Yes, yes, I did. No one seems to be aware of last week’s hack, or the fact that we lost 15K followers. I knew nobody in the office even followed this account, but seriously. I already had my desk packed up and deleted all my personal stuff from my laptop when I walked down to HR. Bob wasn’t there, he apparently left suddenly last week for health reasons. Our new HR person is named Shelly, and I guess one of the things on Bob’s to-do list that didn’t get crossed off 2 weeks ago was “Promote Ed.” Shelly said she was so happy that her first duty was to promote someone and she said “Congrats!” and shook my hand and handed me a letter with a little pay raise + a new title: “Senior” Social Media Manager. I didn’t know what to say, so I didn’t say anything, which was awkward. And then she took a call and I left. Now I’m sitting here in a moral quandary. Meanwhile, Artie submitted #155 last week while I was out. It’s the same as #139, but he says he came up with a better caption. The Committee said you can’t just resubmit an old panel with a new caption because “it’s already canon”. But they ran it through S-MCSS anyway and it came back 10 points higher at 17.4. So they made an exception, I guess. And here it is. Enjoy. I’m just happy to be posting anything at all. Now I’m going to sit here a while and debate with my conscience. -Ed.