The Long-Lost 2nd Stanza to 'Humpty Dumpty'

Thanks to @klyjo for pointing out that, in yesterday’s post about the canon change to #138, I skipped over the previous second-place caption, which now officially sits in third. So here it is, “The Long Lost Second Stanza to Humpty Dumpty”. There were actually a few different takes on this one, including an elaborate digression on the research team from Trinity College, Dublin that discovered the long-lost 2nd stanza on a vellum parchment tucked into the back of the Book of Kells, which led to a new interpretation of the ancient rhyme not as a commentary on the limits of the King’s power, but a reflection on the vagaries of medieval life & the importance of preventative care (i.e., Humpty’s fall wasn’t actually that serious, it’s just that all the King’s horses & men were not exactly qualified medical professionals, so Humpty carried himself off to the royal infirmary where he was patched up by the King’s personal physician. And it’s a good thing he did, because otherwise his underlying condition, which was the real problem, would have gone unnoticed and almost certainly become life-threatening.) There was also a footnote that led to a more detailed explanation of the actual diagnosis, which was called ovigenesis imperfecta, better known as “brittle shell”. A second, further clarifying footnote, explained that the version found tucked in the Book of Kells was written in Latin, titled ‘Humptus Dumptus’, and didn’t actually rhyme. It was all just too much, I guess, for the Committee and for the S-MCSS focus groups. I think we’ve exhausted this one in this particular forum, but I’ll put it all up on the Tumblr blog for those interested. -Ed.