A Vey Hot, Ten-Minute Bath

One reversal from the new S-MCSS2 process is #138. The official caption was “I think this chicken’s ready to come out.” The caption above came in 4th. 3rd was a digression on the egg’s backstory, which involved surviving a 4th grade egg-drop competition, starring Billy Medwick. The Medwicks feature occasionally in Artie’s work, which must be something from his childhood, I don’t know. I try not to read too much in to these things, but I’m pretty sure that in #173, Marv = Marv, Billy Medwick = SynrSys, & the nectar = whatever they finally paid Marv for the acquisition bw his 2nd & 3rd heart attacks. Anyway, I’m not 100% convinced it’s the new algorithm that caused this change to #138 tho, bc I recall there was an unusually high number of pregnant women in the original focus group for #138. Now there’s an unusually high number of women with small children. There’s a policy review next week to decide how to handle reversals in the canon, of which there are only a handful. It’s put Slothrop on edge bc the algorithm fix looks like a flop. But if he’s feeling stressed, he’s in luck bc we have a new sponsor. Jenny from ad sales landed the CalfKing Air Compression Calf Massager account. They’re gearing up for the CalfKing2 launch campaign. The CK2 is sort of like one of those velcro straps they use to take your blood pressure (just Googled it, it’s called a sphygmomanometer), except it’s made of some kind of industrial-strength bubble wrap & it goes around your lower leg. So you’ll be hearing their slogan here soon enough: “Pain in your calves? Cut it in halves!” They sent units for the whole office, we’re all sitting at our desks getting our calves worked on by pulsing bubbles of air. Slothrop’s been in his office with the door closed all morning. The machines purr like hungry little kittens, which adds to the relaxation. Cutting pain in half may not sound like an ambitious goal, but I have to say, I had no idea how tight my calves were until I tried the thing. So I’m a believer. Which I couldn’t say when Jenny signed the Association of Alaskan Wineries for their tourism campaign. The wine was just ok. But my calves feel fantastic. -Ed.