#165: "Oxford Commas"

Arthur Trop Presents: The Inscrutables

No. 160

“The Oxford Comma”

No new panel today, and the Committee is at an “offsite” in Woodinville, so I thought I’d update the status on #160. You may recall we had some complaints that the panel plagiarized a scene from The Simpsons, in which Mr. Burns tears up a page from a monkey’s typewriter after reading ‘It was the best of times, it was the blurst of times...’. After the complaints crossed from the dozens into the hundreds, the Committee had a conference call w Legal, and decided everything was fine. These things happen. Artie’s never even seen The Simpsons. But then we received a cease-and-desist letter, and then came the class action lawsuit. So the Committee pulled it on orders from SynrSys HQ & since then #160 has been in legal limbo. Now the good news. Hanelore, of all people, proposed a new caption that seems to have satisfied all parties. She may be he only one here who knows what an Oxford comma is, other that the lawyers, who thought it was hilarious. And English isn’t even her first language. But the S-MCSS disagreed, giving it a pitiful 3.7/23.0, which is below the normal publishability threshold. It did, however, manage to put out the fire. The cease&desist letter was rescinded, & the circuit court judge tossed the class action lawsuit. So the Committee swallowed their quality pride and made an exception for this one. I’d remind you of the original caption, which scored a 21.1, but I am advised by counsel that is now illegal. Points to Hanelore for saving the day, right before her internship is up. She may get the job after all. Now, I don’t want to belabor the point bc it’s settled and everyone just wants to move on, but I did a little digging and discovered that the Simpsons bit itself was lifted from a 1940 New Yorker story called ‘Inflexible Logic’ by Russell Maloney. I’m just saying. There are two lessons here. One, don’t try to create anything new, bc The Simpsons has already done it. And two, the Simpsons probably lifted it from someone else anyway. Regardless, we have filled this noticeable little hole in the canon, so I re-present to you #160, with legally compliant caption. -Ed.